Updated: Aug 15, 2020
A Father is a Strong Foundation
I grew up with a father who was raised up in a generation that thought being tough was the definition of being a good father. He raised me with an iron hand without showing any love or affection. I feared him like you would fear a wild animal. The moment I heard his voice calling me, everything in me trembled because I knew all hell would break loose. I can't remember a time when he sat me down to give me a father – son talk. This affected myself confidence tremendously. I grew up very timid to the extent that, I could not answer any questions in class. I never believed that I could mount up to anything in life because he constantly told me so. When I grew up, I decided never to create such an environment for my children. It wasn’t easy to give my children what I never received. It has been a tough journey but I determined to break away from the cycle of the past generations of fatherhood to begin a new generation of fatherhood. I resolved to be intentional on my approach of fatherhood, I am still learning to be a better father but at least I'm better off than my ancestors. I can talk with my children about anything without them fearing to open up to me.
The father's role is to provide a strong spiritual, financial, emotional and physical foundation for his family. He is to be a role model for his children and lovingly guide and support them. He should behave in a way that would inspire his son to be like him and his daughter to marry someone who upholds values like her dad’s.
Anyone can father a child but being a father takes time, effort and love.
It involves being around at all the stages of the child’s development, being the cheerleader as well as the role model. Being a father demands sacrifices and intentionality. There are so many absent fathers who abdicated their responsibilities to the mothers of their children. Fathers play a role in every child’s life that cannot be filled by others. This role can have a large impact on a child and help shape him or her into the person they become.
Fathers and Emotional Development of Their Children
Fathers, like mothers, are pillars in the development of a child’s emotional well-being. Children look to their fathers to set the rules and enforce them. They also provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. An involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Children who have grown up with responsible fathers are more likely to become great fathers, mothers and leaders. God designed that children will grow up in an environment with a loving father and mother. In the case of orphans, God Himself comes in, He becomes the father of the fatherless and He bridges that missing link.
Fathers Set the Bar for Social Behaviors
Fathers not only influence who we are inside, but how we relate with people as we develop. The way a father treats his child will influence what he or she looks for in other people. A mean father raises a mean child. Friends, lovers, and spouses will all be chosen based on how the child perceived the meaning of the relationship with his or her father. The pattern a father sets in the relationships with his children will dictate how his children relates with other people. Stable children tend to have stable relationships not only with friends but also in marriage. The missing link of a father affects the relational part of the child as he/she grows up.
A Father and His Son
The first male figure for a boy is his father. Children learn by imitation. If the father is absent, he will follow any man that impresses him. That is why boys can easily be led to destructive groups. Every young boy is looking for affirmation from the father, if the father does not know how to bring it out, he will look for someone else who will provide it. This is masculinity. A young boy’s identity is built or destroyed by his father. A father’s words are like bullets. They penetrate to the core of a child’s identity. A father builds a strong foundation on which a boy child builds on. He watches every step the father takes. One child told his father, “Be careful how and where you are stepping, I am walking in your footprints!”
A Father and His Daughter
A father, to the daughter, is the image of the invisible God who is our heavenly father. To the daughter, he is also the image of a man who will soon be her husband and the father of her children. A father models the image of a man before his daughter.
A father’s presence in the life of a growing daughter, is so vital for her security and stability which are very pertinent in her life. This keeps her strong to stand against predators and poachers. A father’s love and words of affirmation are strong wall around his daughter. She grows up with good identity of knowing who and whose she is. A present and involved father is a priceless gift in the life of a daughter